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| Lee Woodruff. Photo courtesy of Stefan Radtke |
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| The Woodruff family. Photo courtesy of Cathrine White |
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| ISBN 978-1400067312 ©2009 256 pp. Hardcover $25.00 |
Hearing Health staff writer Amy Morrison interviewed author Lee Woodruff about her daughter Nora, who was diagnosed as a baby with moderate to severe hearing loss. Nora is now nine years old and going into the fourth grade.
Hearing Health: Over eight years ago the doctor told you that your baby girl would have to wear hearing aids for the rest of her life. What have been some of the surprises in your journey with Nora since then?
Lee Woodruff: Probably the most surprising thing is all of those moments when I worried that she’d never talk. I now have moments where she’s chattering on and on and I think to myself, “Why won’t you be quiet? I need just a few moments of peace!” Then, of course, I laugh at myself and just
revel in all of it.
HH: You wrote that when you were first dealing with Nora’s diagnosis, “No one seemed to be able to venture any concrete words of comfort.” What would you say to parents who are now facing what you faced?
LW: I would tell them that I have met many examples of people moving through the world beautifully with these deficits. People compensate in amazing ways. I would also tell people to just take one day at a time. It will never seem as bad or as devastating again, as it does in those initial moments.
HH: You have written that people “just need to call it as it lays” regarding those with disabilities. Can you explain that a little further?
LW: I think a lot of parents feel a certain amount of shame around the disability of their child, or maybe that they need to tailor their child’s actions so that they don’t inconvenience anyone else or make them uncomfortable. I think we need to get beyond that and just realize there are many different levels of operating in this world.
HH: How have you helped Nora to bridge the understanding gap with new people she meets?
LW: We’ve tried to make her as comfortable as we possibly can with the fact that she wears hearing aids, to not see it as any kind of stigma but just as matter of fact as wearing glasses. When kids question and see something in her ears, we just want her to be able to say, “Oh, those are hearing aids. Big deal.”
HH: Does Nora attend the same school as her twin sister?
LW: Yes, she is mainstreamed completely.
HH: Does she need any extra assistance in the classroom?
LW: She wears hearing aids and there is a sound amplification system in the classroom called Audio Enhancement. The teacher wears a microphone that hangs around her neck and there are speakers
around the classroom. This is recommended for every classroom, frankly, and many schools are being built with it now.
HH: So it’s not something extra just for Nora?
LW: Absolutely not. It really benefits all the kids in the class. It has been proven to be great for kids with all kinds of learning disabilities, for kids with ADD or kids who have an ear infection that week or a cold and their ears are filled with fluid. It really helps evenly distribute the teacher’s voice around the room.
HH: Do you have some parting advice for parents of children with hearing loss?
LW: Have faith in your children. Don’t parent children with hearing loss any differently or make them feel like they are fragile or different from any other kid. That will allow them to go through life with a sense of themselves as no different than anybody else.
PERFECTLY IMPERFECT: A LIFE IN PROGRESS BY LEE WOODRUFF
REVIEW BY AMY MORRISON
Do the days pass by so quickly that you find your vision blurred and fuzzy? Do you sometimes wonder why you decided to have a third child, chose your particular career path or married the person lying next to you in bed? If a creeping numbness is dulling your capacity for joy, you just might need a good dose of what Lee Woodruff has to offer in her latest book, Perfectly Imperfect.
Many of us first got to know the Woodruff family in 2006 by following the public tragedy of ABC News Anchor Bob Woodruff ’s injury from an explosion while covering the war in Iraq. Only one year after shrapnel shattered his skull, the Woodruffs released In An Instant, their co-written story of Bob’s amazing recovery from a brain injury that threatened to leave him seriously and permanently incapacitated. Anyone who has read the book knows there is more to the tale than just a chronicle of the hard work and determination that aided Bob’s recovery. In An Instant also tells the greater story of the ability to draw on deep wells of courage and love, and to learn to fi nd ways to recover and even thrive after the traumas and tragedies of life.
While Perfectly Imperfect resonates with that same strength of spirit, it stands on its own. There is no need to be familiar with the Woodruff family story in order to appreciate the humor and warmth found in this second book. And in fact, fans of In An Instant will need to set aside any expectation of a single storyline; Perfectly Imperfect is more a collection of vignettes, offering out-of-sequence snapshots of family life that range from solemn to downright silly.
In each engaging chapter, Woodruff blends personal experiences, both good and bad, to demonstrate how life can be a treasure hunt if only we won’t tire of looking. One chapter highlights the value of friendship and how it is measured and tested by grief. In another vignette Woodruff patiently searches for intelligence in her teenager and is finally rewarded by one jewel of conversation with her typically monosyllabic son. Other humorous snapshots, where we read about her husband’s complete inability to multitask or choose an appropriate gift, show that life’s riches can include simple, goodhearted laughter at our human foibles and follies.
Parents of deaf and hard-of-hearing children will recognize much of their own journey in Woodruff ’s chapter, “A Different Ability.” Shattered by the words, “Your daughter is deaf,” Woodruff tells of feeling overwhelmed by the future and isolated in her grief. Despair is quickly replaced by utter frustration as she battles a stubborn toddler who refuses to keep her hearing aids in place. Adding to the stress is a whole new routine of therapy, doctor appointments, audiograms and evaluations. Managing slowly to
“inch out of the blackness,” Woodruff writes now, nine years later, of her beautiful and engaging daughter and of “the overarching capacity people have to adapt, to be patient and to recover.”
Perfectly Imperfect reminds us why we get out of bed in the morning and promises that there are rewards to be gained just from faithfully putting one foot in front of the other. With a little help from Woodruff, we can practice looking for those little “moments of grace,” as she calls them, those “little shards of white-light” that bring meaning and purpose to our lives. And though practice will never really make perfect, by the end of the book we are better able to appreciate our own perfectly imperfect lives for having tagged along with Woodruff through part of hers.
ISBN 978-1400067312 ©2009 256 pp. Hardcover $25.00
