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As printed in Hearing Health, volume 19:4,
Winter 2003
By Lita Perna
I am half-Jewish and half-deaf. Both have distinct
advantages. I can passionately argue one side of an
argument, switch sides in the middle and merely turn
my head to make it all go away. I tend to lean towards
the right but I listen to the left. And with Meniere’s,
I am completely off-balance!
No one can figure me out. I seem arrogant when I pass
people who call out my name, sage-like when I nod at
a question I haven’t heard and mysterious when
I stare and offer no response at all.
Half the people at a dinner table think I am funny
and engaging while the other half see only the side
of my head. When they mumble about my rudeness, I always
smile at them politely and agree.
When walking, I startle people who are talking to
their left when I vanish and suddenly appear on their
right. I do this without missing a step or offering
an explanation.
Sometimes I pity the struggles of those with perfect
hearing because they have to hear twice as much rubbish
as I do. In my world, commercials are permanently turned
off.
I choose what I want to listen to. I can smile through
a boring monologue because it sounds like a babbling
brook. I get along fine with squealing children, barking
dogs and noisy neighbors. Words of criticism come wrapped
in cotton and I tune them out completely if someone
says them to me under their breath.
Since I live in a world that mumbles, I have a whole
repertoire to invite it into mine: “Pardon?”
“Excuse me, I didn’t hear you.” “Could
you repeat that?” “Huh?” The good
old standby, “What?” or finally “Whatever”
if it doesn’t seem worth the effort.
I have been accused of not listening and praised for
my tolerance. I have been treated like I am stupid but
impress others when it is my turn to speak. And when
no one else can hear it, I’m always the one who
can read the wordless pain in someone’s eyes.
I have been told by people that I live in a world of
my own. They are right but they don’t know the
half of it. It isn’t funny to be half-deaf; it’s
only half-funny half the time. I always have a choice.
I choose to live on my lighter side.
Lita Perna, a nationally certified
counselor who works with people of all abilities, lives
in Scottsdale, Ariz.
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